Chairlift Jokers Pillows

Skier.

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

"Bed Spread"

"That's actually my phone. When I answer my calls I get a little bit of a workout."

Staff. Manager. So then you must say "I refuse to lift weights." Hey, that's not what I expected when I hired you to be a resistance training instructor!

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

'His 5 hour energy drink timed out. If only he had taken it 3 seconds later.'

No caption (A lumberjack runs on a rolling log in a machine built like a treadmill).

" ... and if we finish pillaging early enough, we can still catch the evening Zumba class on the after deck."

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

The nutritional devils and angels on your shoulder.

"I'm a writer/painter/filmmaker/poet/actor/comedian, manic-depressive goes without saying."

'I'm pretty sure this thing wasn't a @$#%& health hazard when I was drying my underwear on it!'

Musclesnakes just swallow the dumbbells.

Obese man using a exercise machine. His false teeth are flying out.

'I understand the concept, sir, but I think I'd do better if it were a donut.'

Caution: high speed treadmill, hole in wall behind it

"It's improv night."

'Do you feel the burn?', 'Yes -- in fact, I think my pancreas is scorched.'

"I agree, it is important to look good, but wearing high heels during a workout may be a little counter productive."

Clive would be lost without his morning heart starter.

"Cruz! Are you eyeballin’ me? Eyes shut during savasana! You hear me? Lance, get up and give me 10 headstand pushups to help Cruz here shut her eyes."

Gym. Trainer. What's with this "burning calories"? Why can't we just lightly toast them?

"At least you made it into the hallway."

'When did the treadmill replace the rat race?'

"Sometimes a tightness in the chest can be a sign of high blood pressure. In your husband's case, however, I just loosened his belt a little."

"The Chairman will be on shortly, I'm just the warm-up guy."

'If I get dizzy, and pass out there's a cherry danish in my lunch box.'

"I feel so much more relaxed since I punched out my yoga instructor!"

'They opened an ice cream shop by the gym.'

'This is my favorite machine in the gym.'

'Well my lightest ever was 7lbs 4oz. . .'

'Work the ring! Use the Jab! Watch out for the left hook! And turn off your iPod.'

"But is it Organic?"

"I love my job. It's people laughing at me I can't handle."