Chairlift Chatter T-Shirts

'One more for me an Tiffany, and one more for you and the road.'

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

'Your tweets have quite a following.'

"At least their bull sessions are green. Everything they say is 100% biodegradable."

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

"You're not fooling me. I can spot 'fake mews'."

Hot Line

'From the Mouth of Arthur Baskin.'

"You know that on-line romance you've been carryin' on? Well this here's Samantha!"

'Are you in here tonight?'

'Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?'

A Stray Curmudgeon in a Field of Perennial Optimists.

'Can't you tell people about our new swimming pool without saying I've 'gone off the deep end?''

"I'd love to talk. I'm on a train!"

Well look, I'm afraid I really must run...

'What's that supposed to mean!?!'

"Let's not spoil it by keeping score."

"No problem, B. J. I can talk and baste at the same time."

"They said it had a V-8, so I assumed it would run on tomato juice!"

'The bar's famous for its high spirits.'

I was telling him a story of my granddaughter's wedding.

"The Over-Sharing Economy"

New Space Shuttle Mission: Deployment of the First Orbiting Telemarketer

Communication on a bus

'I tell you what: Mistress' lap was so much more comfortable before she started her diet...'

"We had him neutered,"

"This is the wine talking."

'I accidentally sent this week's data charts to the 3-D printer.'

'I really don't miss the water cooler.'

Phone Dating: Man imagines a gorgeous girl while woman thinks of a handsome man.

'I'll call you back. I'm sleepwalking!'

"You'll have to speak up. I'm very loud in here."