Therapy Chatter T-Shirts

'What's that supposed to mean!?!'

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

Santa uses his interviewing skills on his second job, too.

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

'Life's little wonders are too big for me.'

"Frankly, I just want to talk about how great I am non-stop and uninterrupted for 50 minutes every week on a long term basis."

"Since you ask, when I'm through here I go home and listen to a bunch of mindless crap on TV."

"I'm on Twitter and I get the feeling I'm not being followed."

"You dawdle, daydream. You make lists of things to do but can't get started. You seem to be restricted from doing what you know you should be doing. These problems will dissolve when you read Chapter Ten of my new book, at eight dollars and ninety-five cents."

"See? This is what I'm talking about! If you always show how happy you are to see everyone, you give them all the power in the relationship!"

"I'm afraid that's a wrap for this session!"

'Yes, we are going in circles. How do you feel about that?'

'It's not my childhood that traumatised me. It's the size of your bills.'

'Well, no, I wouldn't say I'm a mad cow, although Farmer Brown does get on my nerves once in a while!'

"You've got two more things to worry about now. You're mad and I'm expensive."

'I have ego issues — at least, I think it's me.'

'From the Mouth of Arthur Baskin.'

Hot Line

"YOUR mother? - Let me tell you about MY mother...."

"I had that dream again where I kill my Shrink."

"You do realise that you are not the only client scheduled this morning?"

'Are you in here tonight?'

"You know that on-line romance you've been carryin' on? Well this here's Samantha!"

'Visualize yourself not falling off the wall.'

"You're putting up too many walls Hadrian."

'Can't you tell people about our new swimming pool without saying I've 'gone off the deep end?''

"I can't afford therapy. The inner child support payments alone are killing me."

Dinosaurs Anonymous

"I was like 'OMG,' and she was all 'No way', and I was like 'Yes, way', and she was...uh-oh, gotta run."

"Has it occurred to you that you occasionally feign a lack of understanding?" "What the hell does that mean?"

"I'd love to talk. I'm on a train!"

'Mr. Scrooge, I think we should talk a bit more about this dream you had...'

Well look, I'm afraid I really must run...

"I'm sensing big crybaby."