Cereal Box Philosopher Gifts

"I'm enhancing my appreciation for the knowledge gathered by humankind."

We are shaped by what we love! Especially pizza and doughnuts!

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

"Why do parishioners only eat half their donuts???" "Partial indulgence."

'Jim's blogging his thought for the day. He doesn't have any profound thoughts, he just has one thought per day.'

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

Schrodinger's Cat Litter Box

"I might let the window box lay fallow, this season."

A lot of attention gets paid to the Earl of Sandwich, and rightfully so, but let's not forget to show some respect for that neglected Lord of Lunch, the Viscount of Potato Salad.

"Who's next?"

'He's got one more minute alone in the penalty box with my mother.'

"Yes, Jamie -- you have an insight?"

U. S. POST OFFICE, ''Fragile'? Yeah, yeah, pal -- they're all fragile.'

"What's healthy about breakfast cereals?"

"She keeps trying to mold me into her own image."

'You have to send in $5 for a decoder ring to decipher the list of ingredients.'

The Breakfast of Cheaters

"Dad, can you get one that has a toy inside?"

'The newspaper strike hasn't affected you at all, has it?'

Paranormal tips: sandwiches with crop circles may lead to marmalade stains on trousers

"Not eating your Cheezies, Miller?"

"I started my vegetarianism for health reasons, then it became a moral choice, and now it's just to annoy people."

'Thinking INSIDE the box is actually quite underrated!'

"I don't know, sweetheart. Perhaps Daddy can tell us if chickens have souls."

'The first dozen ingredients in this cereal are various sugars.'

'Biscuit?' 'Leave it in the in-tray for the morning.'

"I was born a doughboy but I identify as a crescent roll."

"My new recycling bin from Amazon is not big enough for the packaging it came in."

'The more important question then, is who is cracker?'

"I always just check the box without reading that stuff."

"My parents are really upset. I'm dating a guy who's not microwave and dishwasher safe."

"I'm confused. Is this a late lunch or is it early dinner?"

2 min. in the box for roughing, eternity for coughing."

Hockey and Cell Phones

'I don't know what gets into me around the holidays.'