Cereal Box Philosopher Gifts

"I'm enhancing my appreciation for the knowledge gathered by humankind."

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

'Jim's blogging his thought for the day. He doesn't have any profound thoughts, he just has one thought per day.'

Schrodinger's Cat Litter Box

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

"I might let the window box lay fallow, this season."

"Who's next?"

'He's got one more minute alone in the penalty box with my mother.'

U. S. POST OFFICE, ''Fragile'? Yeah, yeah, pal -- they're all fragile.'

"Yes, Jamie -- you have an insight?"

"What's healthy about breakfast cereals?"

The Breakfast of Cheaters

'The newspaper strike hasn't affected you at all, has it?'

"Dad, can you get one that has a toy inside?"

"Not eating your Cheezies, Miller?"

'You have to send in $5 for a decoder ring to decipher the list of ingredients.'

Paranormal tips: sandwiches with crop circles may lead to marmalade stains on trousers

"I started my vegetarianism for health reasons, then it became a moral choice, and now it's just to annoy people."

'Thinking INSIDE the box is actually quite underrated!'

"I don't know, sweetheart. Perhaps Daddy can tell us if chickens have souls."

'The first dozen ingredients in this cereal are various sugars.'

'Biscuit?' 'Leave it in the in-tray for the morning.'

"My parents are really upset. I'm dating a guy who's not microwave and dishwasher safe."

"I always just check the box without reading that stuff."

2 min. in the box for roughing, eternity for coughing."

Hockey and Cell Phones

"I'm confused. Is this a late lunch or is it early dinner?"

'The more important question then, is who is cracker?'

'I don't know what gets into me around the holidays.'

'Yeah. I used to get a lot of 'timeouts' as a kid, too.'