Celestial Opportunists Pillows

'Hey, it's Heaven, why wouldn't we cash in on that?'

'Let's see what they're screwing up today.'

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

'Is this a cirrocumulus or what?'

Weinberg's egregious error would damage his reputation forever, His colleagues would thereafter refer to him as 'the big double dipper,

No caption. (An astronomer looks through a high-powered telescope while a baby in a crib looks through a hand-held scope).

"We’re having privacy concerns with your omniscience."

'The last thing I said to him was: 'whatever you do, don't look at the sun through this thing'.'

You are everywhere.

My dinner with Andromeda

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."

'I hate to break it to you, but moons don't grow up to be planets OR stars.'

'Whoops!'

"I'm your sun!"

The Moon Falls Out of the Sky.

"Gazing at stars really makes you realise the insignificance of your co-workers."

'How do you expect to play Canasta when you left your brain to science?'

Sun Wearing Sunglasses/Moon Wearing Night Vision Goggles

"I suppose we could call it the doughnut asteroid..."

Angel with speed camera.

'We've discovered a massive dust and gas cloud which is either the beginning of a new star or just a hell of a lot of dust and gas.'

Efforts Results In Seeing Stars

"Whoever said there ain't no such thing as a free lunch obviously has never circled around a highway."

'He seems nice.'

"First, I storyboarded it."

'They're evolving like mad -- You put in way too many cosmic rays!'

'They're plowing you? -- how does it feel?', 'Groovy!'

CPA. It looks like some of our clients might have tax problems this year. Halley's Comet files a return only once every 75 years. And the black hole seems to be hiding lots of income. Neither Pluto nor Mars can pay what they owe. Pluto's assets are frozen. And Mars isn't called the "Red Planet" for no reason. I think earth might be the only one getting a refund. Of course, it has billions of dependents!

'Those are just phrases your going through.'

Possible Merger Talks

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Celestial Sadie, In the Western sky after sunset, Jupitor can be seen nearly aligned with Venus. What do you make of this? R. Yates. Excellent question. That reminds me of a long lost civilization, in which there was no such thing as a typo. Where no one ever hit the wrong key because they wrote letters by hand. Eventually, it became so obsessed with speed that it began typing everything, and so inconsiderate that it soon stopped bothering to proo

Shoot for the moon or die in the vacuum of space

Budget Astronomy

"Apparently, 60 is the new dead."

'Looking at the stars makes me feel small. I'm going off of my diet.'