Celestial Joker T-Shirts

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

One day, an astromer discovered that Orion's belt is actually unbuckled.

'What's that doing here?... I thought this was heaven!'

'I'm going to take a shower - No peeking, now.'

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"The stars were much more beautiful from Earth."

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"Not now, Oliver."

"Is it true Dad...is the Earth really made of bleu cheese?"

'Boy, does this ever shoot holes in the old Big Bang Theory!'

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

BLACK HOLES, the space path of least resistance.

Farmer chasing alien leaving crop circles.

'Can you believe it? - The doofus doesn't know whether this is the Alpha Quadrant or not!'

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

Pole Star

'Did you check the glove compartment? -- maybe you left the keys in there.'

'And on June 30th of that same year, you used The Bible as a coaster?'

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

Astronaut sees cell tower on the moon.

Newton's cradle

"Your next pilgrimage must be to a bodega for milk."

Cosmonaughty

HM Prison chapel, "try to think of the lord as a 24 hour video surveillance system gathering pictures for the ultimate crimewatch"

Mike had learnt by heart the whole training manual, apart from the most important bit.

'Golly, is it that time already?'

Climbing to the moon

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

"If small stars keep planets in line, what do big stars do?"

"And on the seventh day, God 'choked,' and all hell broke loose."

Eucharist