Celestial Body Debater Pillows

"God, the sun is driving me crazy."

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

"Mr. Pope, please give this summons to your boss. The prosecutor wants to know how god can allow so much misery."

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

"I'm an agnostic now that I've started having self doubts."

Needless to say, God forgot the legs.

A not-so-happy God, with the Humans, sticking an Eviction Notice to the Earth

"Having completed the formation of the earth, on the seventh day the Lord rested. Then, on the eighth day, the Lord said, 'Let there be problems.' And there were problems."

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

"Instead of Red Team and Blue Team, why don't we make it Good v. Evil?"

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

"Not that it's any of your business, but no, I wasn't kicked out! We had creative differences, that's all!"

'Ok Preacher, here's the deal. You back off I back off, and everyone is happy...'

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

"This is a little embarrassing to admit, but everything that happens happens for no real reason."

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

"So Jesus, what denomination are you?"

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

"I stand corrected..."

"Sadie, they found a planet orbiting Proxima Centauri. That makes way over 1,000 planets we've discovered in my lifetime." "It must be exciting for you, discovering there are 1,000 worlds full of people who can't possibly know what a doofus you are." "...Unless they've got telescopes." "It is exciting. Now I know how you must've felt when Oog the Caveman discovered Venus." "I see you're bringing what passes for your 'A-game' today."

Nature vs. Nietzsche.

"And lo, we made God in our own image.."

"Well, son, in a way, I suppose Jesus was a trust-fund baby."