Celebrity Whisperer T-Shirts

'The Parkinson would be good PR, but should I wear the hair shirt or the sackcloth and ashes?'

"This position has become very important to the company."

"Just be yourself."

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

Open Mike for the spotlight operators

'Astronomy I, Astronomy II, Astronomy III'

"I love my luvvie."

"I said, the brewery has rather overdone the ambiance in here..."

"The sellers recommended that I burn some sage during the tour."

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

"I'm the ghost of Christmas Tree Future, and honestly, it doesn't turn out well for you."

"You'll be able to talk to your husband. I have video conferencing."

"Bruno, sit."

'...and where did you bury the bone?'

'If another barman cracks the joke about not serving spirits, I'm leaving ...'

'He's not there at the moment so please leave a message.'

Dog-English dictionary.

"This is very mysterious. I can't seem to pick up anything at all about you, but I see 'Ivan the Terrible' coming to the Thalia."

"I'm a medium." "Really? I'm a large!" "Your late Aunt Nancy warmed me you'd say that."

At the school of ventriloquism.

"Perhaps a dirge would lift your spirits?"

"Before we make contact with the departed, be aware that all communications will be recorded and maybe used for training purposes."

Alas, poor Yorick!

"He shows enormous potential."

Assorted Smiles, Show Business Awards.

Soft Speaker, Loud Speaker, Deafening Speaker

'I'm getting k-w-y-z-x-g-j-z-s-t-i-z-i-k-o-v...does anyone know a Kwyzxgizxtlzilov who's passed on recently?'

I'm afraid I made quite a nuisance of myself in here last night.

Public speaking

"She's asking did her bum look big in her shroud ?"

'So, I see you're a good listener.'