Celebrity Whisperer T-Shirts

'The Parkinson would be good PR, but should I wear the hair shirt or the sackcloth and ashes?'

"This position has become very important to the company."

"Just be yourself."

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

Get out of the way, Harold - I'm trying to talk to Cuddles.

I used to love coming here. Nudist beach.

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

'Astronomy I, Astronomy II, Astronomy III'

Open Mike for the spotlight operators

"I love my luvvie."

"I said, the brewery has rather overdone the ambiance in here..."

"The sellers recommended that I burn some sage during the tour."

"Bruno, sit."

"You'll be able to talk to your husband. I have video conferencing."

'...and where did you bury the bone?'

"I'm the ghost of Christmas Tree Future, and honestly, it doesn't turn out well for you."

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

'If another barman cracks the joke about not serving spirits, I'm leaving ...'

'He's not there at the moment so please leave a message.'

Dog-English dictionary.

"This is very mysterious. I can't seem to pick up anything at all about you, but I see 'Ivan the Terrible' coming to the Thalia."

"I'm a medium." "Really? I'm a large!" "Your late Aunt Nancy warmed me you'd say that."

At the school of ventriloquism.

Playing dead is easy, but when they ask me to speak, I have to imagine them in their underwear.

"Before we make contact with the departed, be aware that all communications will be recorded and maybe used for training purposes."

Alas, poor Yorick!

"Perhaps a dirge would lift your spirits?"

"He shows enormous potential."

Soft Speaker, Loud Speaker, Deafening Speaker

Assorted Smiles, Show Business Awards.

'So, I see you're a good listener.'

'I'm getting k-w-y-z-x-g-j-z-s-t-i-z-i-k-o-v...does anyone know a Kwyzxgizxtlzilov who's passed on recently?'

"She's asking did her bum look big in her shroud ?"

Public speaking

You guys ever think he might be a control freak?