Celebrity Storyteller Gifts

'Ghost Writers in the Sky.'

Meet the author - celebrity autobiographies,

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

"His name is James Tom Dave Jon Lee Robert Glenn Joseph Tony Sam Barnes. We didn't want to hurt any relatives' feelings by not naming him after them."

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

"OK, stop me if you've never heard this before!"

Marilyn's Rushmore

What do you say we team up to star in a sequel to "The Elephant Man" called "The Wolverine Boy"? !

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

After chasing the rabbit for many hours, Buster found himself very far from home indeed.

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

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"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

'It was a dark and stormy night. Also, there was a Catch-22.'

'How about having at least one character who's alive and wearing clothes?'

"Two, please—one senior and one tootsie."

Quentin Tarantino

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

Script/Director/Producer/Decency Panel.

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

Old Joe was determined to reach the summit as he'd left his false teeth up there last week!

"Ugh! Stop making a drama documentary out of a molehill."

Ask Sadie! I just read an article where Daisy Ridley said J.J. Abrams wrote drafts for Episode VIII and Episode IX. And then Rian Johnson THREW THAT OUT and went a whole different direction. This makes me lose all faith in Star Wars. Am I overreacting? **Actual reader question. Excellent question. This reminds me of the time I saw Gone with the Wind on opening day. I was the invited guest of an elderly veteran of the Civil War. He couldn't stop yammering about how seceding from the union didn't

"A homeless person ate my homework."

Men dancing

"‘How I Spent My Summer Vacation in a Freaking Gymnastics Camp and Nearly Broke My Neck,’ by Delia McConnell."

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

"Hang on! - we've possibly go another couple of films left in here!!"

"It's a coming-of-middle-age story."

Christopher Nolan caricature