Celebrity Scandal Enthusiast Gifts

Fatuous, Vacuous & Superfluous: celebrity lawyers.

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

The signing of Ben Franklin's non-disclosure agreement.

'I was hounded out of office!', 'That explains the smell.'

Fifty shades of Leveson.

Hollywood Breakup

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

Leo McKern

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

Mary Trump

'Oh, I'm just writing a tender memoir or my long ago affair with J.F.K...it's filled with pathos and sad wishful longing...'

Trump returns home

Viggo Mortensen

Morgue - "Welcome to 'Celebrity Autopsy'"

"Doesn't look good. The boss just changed his Facebook status to 'Fleeing the country with hookers and compnay 401k plan.'"

Meryl Streep

"Remind me - if I'm no longer a footballer, and you're no longer a celebrity. . . why are we here?"

"We're going public with our stock AND your philandering."

Science Journal. Editor. Ernie, we need a headline that will interest the general public in our artificial supernovas. "Big stars involved in nasty breakups"! (Published originally on March 2, 2009.)

'Man, I'm age 21 now and so far, I haven't done anything important. Things can't go on like this or I will have to forget my plan to become rich and famous by writing my autobiography at age 35!'

Larry King

CELEBRITY NEWS TEAM"Now here's Frank Sinatra with the weather."

"Sir, your new campaign manager is here."

"You played yourself in your last picture. Everyone found it unconvincing."

'This tuna is being recalled. It contains seahorse.'

What brings you to therapy, Mr. Groupeé? You can call me "Booster." Dr. Noodle. Hey, who was that who just left your office? Was that that historian I saw on TV? Herodotus Jenkins? I can't say. He's the best. He come here this time every week? I can't say. And who's that out in the waiting room? Is that Brock Manly of "Fast & Furious 12" fame? I can't say. What brings you here? I heard you treat all the famous people. I just thought it might be nice to know the rich and famous are as messed up a

"You never saw a tax haven. Now look into this light.

Daniel Day Lewis

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

Rupert Murdoch in the mud.

Sammi and her 'partner' decide to have their child baptized at a Suuuuper-inclusive church

'I want a scurrilous biography. If it was good enough for Getty, it will be good enough for me.'

Trumpled

"What are you thinking of, Dear?" "Oh just something I said to Robert Mueller."

"It's our latest celebrity scent, it's called Elon Musk. It smells like money!"