Celebrity Manager Pillows

'Get me public relations!'

"It's nothing really serious. I just wandered a little too close to the harsh light of intense public scrutiny."

"this week on, 'Celebrity Fear Factor,' contestants are threatened with total anonymity."

Santa with reindeer minders (black and white).

"Look at the size of this gas bill - you'll have to get rid of some of those celebrity chefs!!"

Celebrity Phrenologist.

"You look good, Douglas, but I'm afraid we're not looking for an 'It Boy' right now."

'Anyway, you look wonderful. Mind if I ask who does your lighting?'

Talent Agency: Here Today/Gone Tomorrow.

"First, we tell everybody that you're in rehab. I'll take it from there."

Arrivals...Departures: 'Celebrities! Thank you for not intermingling entourages!'

'No questions -- I just came out for a photo op.'

'Welcome to 'Celebrity Animal Faking It', in which the king of the jungle will spend a week pretending to be a mischievous baboon...'

Maps to the Stars Rehab Centres.

'I'm still trying to build up a following here, but I'm huge in Lilliput.'

'The girl on the right, danced with a man, who danced with a girl, who danced with the Prince of Wales.'

'Does anybody want my autograph?'

Confucious Say: 'He who strangles the cook will not eat the scones.'

Prison Celebrity Wing.

Entourage HMO - Healthcare for Celebrities & Their Hangers-on.

'My client is a celebrity, so I'm asking to move the trial to California.'

"You can't do infomercials until you've paid your dues by being a has-been first."

"Excuse me, I'm late for my new show 'Lancing With the Stars'."

The Acme Agency: "Dedicated to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Media Exposure."

Celebrity PR agency.

"Of course, it is difficult living your life in the public eye."

Barbra Streisand

Oscars

"Step aside! Outta tha way! Celebrity divorce attorney coming through."

"He loves to give autographs!"

"In terms of career guidance, access to A-list talent, and studio relationships, you couldn't sign with a better rehab clinic."

"I was never famous, but then, I never had a publicist."

Famous People You Thought Were Already Dead

'David when we said we would like you to be a role model for us. . .'

'Call my manager and we will work something out.'