Celebrity Interviewer Pillows

'That's better. ... OK, now you may ask your question.'

"Here's what I want to say, Tony: You, me, everybody in our industry can make a difference. There, I've said it."

"The line in the script was actually 'Woof woof,' but, when we started shooting, 'Bow wow' came out, and the rest is history."

I'm told we were once married. Can you tell us what that was like?

'Perhaps you'll make it up to the cover of 'National Geographic' but no antelope will ever respect you again as the savannas' most dangerous predator.'

"It's rather embarrassing to admit but I haven't got any famous parents, I achieved my success through my own merit."

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

I'm a self-made man!

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

"The company is very keen on diversity, could you reapply as a woman?"

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

'One final question: Have you ever been disciplined, investigated or suspended for integrity on the job?'

"My biggest weakness? I'm a perfectionist."

'It's a senior management position. We need someone who can listen politely, and then say no.'

Do you have any other skills?

'You lack the expertise we're looking for, Mr Wheaton - but darn it, I like your attitude.'

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

"In addition to 'loyalty' are there any OTHER qualities you think you could bring to the job?"

"Bob doesn't do well in job interviews, so he hired me. I'm a professional actor who specializes in these situations."

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

'I treat everyone here the same as my family. . . like s**t.'

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

"In my old job we were encouraged to run fast and break things."

"This resumé has the kind of sizzle we're looking for."

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

'And we have an employee wellness program. By not offering health insurance or sick pay, we encourage wellness.'

"Wow...your resume is quite impressive."

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"