Celebrity In The Making Gifts

"The school psychologist says that I'm totally stupid and free of any talent. Great, that's the best qualification to become a superstar!"

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

'Who I played in Summer Stock.'

"This number goes out to all the little people I met on my way back down."

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

Tom Hanks

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

Vanna White: The Later Years.

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'Don't you know who I am?...I've decided to pursue a career as a celebrity, so I'm developing the basic language skills used in the industry.'

Joe Henry

Amy Winehouse, up in Rock N' Roll heaven.

"My spokesperson won't speak to me."

"Is Madonna amazing or what? She sings, dances, and acts, and now it turns out she's a writer, too."

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'I don't know where to begin in deciding what I want to be when I grow up...I want people to shut and leave me alone, and I need lots of attention, so...'

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

"Once again, the epicenter seems to be Christian Slater."

"This lovely song tells of a young, pretty actress, her ups and downs, and how she found happiness after rehab."