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George Clooney

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

Meanwhile in Hollywood

'Good news. We're not Daft Punk.'

The Life and Times of Miley Cyrus

Tom Hanks

'No. . . I'll never spend £400 on a haircut. . .'

'And the Award goes to...Ewww...him?'

Hollywood Breakup

"I'd leave Redford for George Clooney in a hartbeat."

JET (Part I)

Say what? Johnnie Cochran died in 2005?

Larry King

Science Journal. Editor. Ernie, we need a headline that will interest the general public in our artificial supernovas. "Big stars involved in nasty breakups"! (Published originally on March 2, 2009.)

“So let me get this straight: George Clooney isn’t your leader?”

Morgue - "Welcome to 'Celebrity Autopsy'"

"Remind me - if I'm no longer a footballer, and you're no longer a celebrity. . . why are we here?"

"Dad, has there EVER been a time when James Corden was funny..?"

Weditorials

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

John Stride

'I'm a has-been celebrity - get me in there!'

'That's right...his appendix...and it's pure dynamite! Don't you see? It'll be the ultimate insider celebrity memoir!'

What brings you to therapy, Mr. Groupeé? You can call me "Booster." Dr. Noodle. Hey, who was that who just left your office? Was that that historian I saw on TV? Herodotus Jenkins? I can't say. He's the best. He come here this time every week? I can't say. And who's that out in the waiting room? Is that Brock Manly of "Fast & Furious 12" fame? I can't say. What brings you here? I heard you treat all the famous people. I just thought it might be nice to know the rich and famous are as messed up a

'We know you are a serious actress..'

Inventor of wheel and discoverer of fire seen on date! More (arrow). The first tabloid.

Good Morning Britain

Whoopie Goldberg

To Get Pardoned by Trump, Become a Celeb

Walken On Clouds

'Oh no! Political memoirs!'

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

'Reports of my abstinence have been slightly exaggerated. . . I read somewhere that smoking and drinking are bad for you. . . so I gave up reading.'

Emily Ratajkowski

'Welcome to Reputation Makeover! Tonight, my team and I will try to repair the tattered reputations of those appearing on other reality shows!'