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Madonna finally decided to settle down, buy a farm and raise a few eyebrows.

"Demi Moore had a really sad tweet."

Snooki employs her children, Lorenzo and Giovanna, to announce that she will be raising her next child gender neutral.

"Both the movie and I will be released this summer."

'It's the telly people-they want to use OUR garden for 'I'm a Celebrity,Get me out of here!'

Waiting room scene and signs that say 'Dr. Ooze's Clinic - As seen on TV.'

'Marm misses Simon Cowell.'

'Good news. We're not Daft Punk.'

"At an event some chick publicly badmouthed my husband. I didn't run on stage to knock the lady down because she was right."

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

Benedict Cumberbatch

Meanwhile in Hollywood

Elvis Presley

Brad Pitt

The Life and Times of Miley Cyrus

'No. . . I'll never spend £400 on a haircut. . .'

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

Tom Hanks

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

"I'd leave Redford for George Clooney in a hartbeat."

JET (Part I)

Hollywood Breakup

"Hey, Bob. Things haven't been quite the same since Richard Attenborough arrived here, have they?"

'And the Award goes to...Ewww...him?'

'David when we said we would like you to be a role model for us. . .'

All Star Team.

“So let me get this straight: George Clooney isn’t your leader?”

Stephen Fry

John Stride

Weditorials

"Dad, has there EVER been a time when James Corden was funny..?"

Dogs Touring Hollywood

Science Journal. Editor. Ernie, we need a headline that will interest the general public in our artificial supernovas. "Big stars involved in nasty breakups"! (Published originally on March 2, 2009.)

Say what? Johnnie Cochran died in 2005?

"Remind me - if I'm no longer a footballer, and you're no longer a celebrity. . . why are we here?"