Celebrating St. Patrick's Day Gifts

"Yes, shamrocks are green. Yes, they have three leaves. Unfortunately, so does poison ivy."

My life defines 'Luck of the Irish'...My first wife left me and the second one won't.

'Hey! On St Patrick's day, everyone is Irish!'

"Simply swipe your card, enter the pin, and a pot of gold will be deposited into your account within two working days."

'Kiss me -- I'm an Irish frog!'

"What do you think of wearing a green collar for St. Patrick's Day?"

St Patrick's Day

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

'It's a note...It says I.O.U. one pot of gold.'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'So, what do you think of my first attempt at making homemade beer?'

'No standing while room is in motion.'

"Hic. Gosh and begorrah!" "Wha?"

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

"Happy St Patrick’s Day"

"A pint! I'll need proof, and that's human years, not dog years!"

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

Best Before 5th Pint.

At Ireland's oldst and most respected school of dance, Mrs O'Hara made a terrible discovery... (Book entitled 'The book of Irish dancing vol. 2 - How to incorporate the arms')

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

'Here comes your own personal weekly beer supply, Joe!'

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

I.O.U. one pot of gold.

Just the one...

St. Patricks Day Shamrock Outfit

'It's St Patrick's Day...I thought you called this car your lucky charm??!'

"Of course, it may be one of those sting operations!"

Buy one beer, get one free. If I may paraphrase a famous quote, "Beer is proof that God has mixed feelings about us and wants us to be hungover."

Bottle Distillery

'The way I see it, drinking is its own reward.'

'Did you hear that? They said 'Hello' to you.'

Bar: Now serving 24 hours - 'I want to get as wasted as you look.'

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"