Celebrating Chanukah Pillows

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"We only got six days of funding."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

Night of the Latkes

Moses' Tablet

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

"Happy St Patrick’s Day"

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

Pilot with champagne.

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

Oymoticons

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

Boy and Bear and Monster

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

Beers

Green Balloon

'It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.'

Labor Day Flowers

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

A surprise in heaven

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

"I hear you've been doing exciting things with eggs and dye."

Paul goes home for the holidays

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

Let's Celebrate

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'