Ceiling Fan Critic Pillows

All right, whose bright idea was it to get a drop ceiling with a ceiling fan?

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

"It lost a little something in translation."

'I imagine you'll be asking for a full refund.'

Charities should investigate whether published reports are 'Misleadingly Positive'.

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

Preliminary Price Tag: $5,000,000,000

'All it needs is a ceiling fan.'

'Maximising shareholder value doesn't count.'

"Why, Giambattista Tiepolo, you old so-and-so! Who knew you could paint?"

"I've changed my mind"

A new meaning in the Roman

LIBERAL MEDIA POLLS, 'Do you think President Obama is doing a great job, a wonderful job, or an absolutely terrific job?'

"Is it always so cloudy?"

"I've got a couple of tickets for Wild Bill's 'Wild West Show'.. only $800 each!"

Man painting the ceiling with the help of an umbrella.

"Are you sure that's Michelangelo?"

'Okay, the print media convicted you...but trust me, the video media will overturn the verdict.'

'I wonder if Michael Angelo got a stiff neck when he painted the ceiling!'

'Didn't I read your last book, find it absolutely disgusting and vow never to read another, or was that someone else?'

"It was all we could afford in the end."

Another Spin?

"Bloody left-wing cartoonists! They keep drawing me in a one-sided way, but I'm a multifaced personality!"

"Use Kivimo for ten days. If not completely satisfied,you have a very negative personality."

'Make up your mind! -- do you want me to let your people go, or grant them amnesty?'

"If you want to turn it off, you just pull this chain until you accidentally turn it back on."

"As an ex-priest, I'm having a hard time adjusting to these noncathedral ceilings."

"We were hoping for something other than 'Whatever' as answers to our survey questions."

"I should take all our old computers, gadgets and phones out of the attic. The ceiling can no longer take the weight."

Trump's Other Wall

"Very clever, but he´s not coming to Australia with us."

"What's the big deal? I lopped off my own damn penis years ago."