Ceiling Fan Conundrum Enthusiast Pillows

"If you want to turn it off, you just pull this chain until you accidentally turn it back on."

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

Bright idea

New Coat of Paint at the Sistine Condos

"I don't know what happened, your holiness! I painted the ENTIRE CEILING!"

'All it needs is a ceiling fan.'

"Why, Giambattista Tiepolo, you old so-and-so! Who knew you could paint?"

'I found another pothole.'

Squirrel and bird feeder.

"I've changed my mind"

"Thank goodness you only bought him dumbbells."

Bravo!

Crazy paving company.

"God must have been very pleased."

Painting the Sistine Chapel. 1508. 1509. 1510. 1511. 1512. It looks great, Michelangelo, but there's one thing I don't understand. Why didn't you just paint it in the regular way and then mount it on the ceiling?

"Are you sure that's Michelangelo?"

'Soon I will have proved it ONCE AND FOR ALL!'

'I'll get this rock; you get the other.'

'I wonder if Michael Angelo got a stiff neck when he painted the ceiling!'

Ladder in a lift shard.

Trainspotters.

'We need someone in here, like now.'

Knockout!

'Well, I've managed to get rid of the annoying double vision effect on your T.V.'

That side up.

Did you know there's a growing worldwide system of rails and roads that all lead to China? Did you know China's on the verge of dominating the industries of the future? Did you know China's built fifteen mega-cities? It's like having fifteen New Yorks. Did you know China's building immense undersea tunnels and super-fast high speed rail to create the world's first super-cities that'll be six times the population of New York? Oh, well ... I'm sure we're still number one in all the areas I didn't

Effective communications

"Nothing is wrong with the machine. Press the buttons harder. You need to work on your people skills."

"As an ex-priest, I'm having a hard time adjusting to these noncathedral ceilings."

Curling popularity after the winter Olympics.

'Ever since he painted the Sistine Chapel, he can't paint any other way.'

Problem Solving at the Urinal

We need to wrap our heads around this.

"I should take all our old computers, gadgets and phones out of the attic. The ceiling can no longer take the weight."

'It's not legal to drive anywhere, but it looks good in the driveway.'