Cbt Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Your problem is caused by all or nothing thinking. Why can't you just deliver toys to kids in your own neighborhood?"

Lift buttons read: East Side/West Side/All Around the Town.

What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.

"Does the No. 1 stop here and does that go to Penn Station and can I get a train there to Philadelphia and then how do I get to Walnut Street?"

Bus for Giraffes.

"I know I say it in every episode, Carson, but the world is changing and we have to change with it."

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

Road work next 15 years.

'Yes, Haffner appears to be tiring...'

NEXT EXIT Food & Drink Cafe...Open 24 hours: 'Hey! Here's the place we saw advertised on the freeway!'

He comes by sometimes to tell me he quit my job, bought a convertible and is going to open a brewpub. Midlife crisis actor.

"Go already! Stop letting them in! Just think of yourself!!"

Bullets Bulls in the form of Bullets

'When we converted the pub into a house, we decided to keep some of the original features.'

"I have bad news, but it's in bullet points!"

"I found him at a garage sale."

"Can you come back with that three year study summarised in six or less powerpoint bulletpoints?"

Traffic sign warning driver, on a road trip, of hazard ahead.

"I completed the medical for your trucker's licence, and all your tests came back negatory, good buddy."

"Wouldn't it be faster if we just flew to Brooklyn?"

The Straw Entrepreneur, The Tin Accountant, and The Cowardly Attorney

"It's a beautiful day. Let's take the soft-top."

Nutcracker going home

'It only takes a minute to erect the hood, or five minutes if the family helps.'

Pope Francis on public transport.

"Well, that's the last of it, which means we just ate thirty years' worth of food in two weeks."

'How did your bowling go?. . . I didn't realize you eyesight was so bad.'

'Henry, I know you are CIA, but can't you read the kids a declassified bedroom story?'

Bus Stop (bus hovering overhead)

"Regift the bicycle, Charles, but put this in my Panama pile."

"Quit hogging the covers!"

'My wife is out of town. That's the diet cam.'

"It's an awesome board. However, your dimensions may be a little off."

"Surf's up!"

The radiocarbon dating technique.