Cattle Chuckler T-Shirts

"Year after year we sit here quietly raising eyebrows, son."

World of Cow.

Erm...what the hell is cud, anyway?

"They say the mortality rates could be as high as 3%..Better buy more toilet rolls!"

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

How was I supposed to know she was under age?

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

'I'm referring you to a specialist who isn't as afraid to die as I am.'

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

Philosophy of Forestry: 'How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Walt? Roger? Steve? Anyone?'

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

'For him, all food is fast food.'

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

"Pff! That orang utan's obviously a crisis actor!"

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

"Sounds like a lot of 'EIEIO' to me!"

"I bit someone once. It tasted like chicken."

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

"Pandemic! That's a pretty name."

'Bless you!'

"I keep getting into a flap."

"Sorry for the confusion, but it's Poetry Night, not Poultry Night."

'I won't introduce you - he's an arable farmer. Absolutely arable.'

"I just talked to Grunzman on the phone when he called in sick...I fear he really has got something very, very highly contagious!"

"One man's meat is another man's beloved pet."

'Hey - I was in line first! There you go again...messing up the pecking order!'

"Yes, I'm vegan and no longer eat the prey animals but it's still a lot of fun to kill them!"

"Sad, isn't it? And he won't admit he has a problem."

"Let's just agree that they're dolphins, not sharks. I don't want to fall out with you."

'Do these burgers taste funny to you?'

'What do you mean, stuff the chicken? It wasn't empty.'

'The four scariest words in the English language.'