Cattle Caller Pillows

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

Motorherd

"In every situation, an executive has to decide whether to lead by consensus, charisma or cattle prod. Trust me... it's not always this easy!"

World of Cow.

"Year after year we sit here quietly raising eyebrows, son."

"What do you mean, we don't have an 'exit strategy'?!"

Zoom Rodeos

Shepherd

'Thank you for waiting. Please continue to hold and your call will bee answered as soon as we can.'

'My wife, my rancher, his artificial insemination device!'

'Dang, we're losing a lot of strays.'

One cow to another: 'We should look at rebranding.'

'God darn it Tex! I kept telling you if you keep on punching cows one day one is going to punch you back.'

Erm...what the hell is cud, anyway?

'Do you remember where we parked at?'

Cow Pop Art,

My mother was the one that pushed me into this business.

Wife to husband about pigs in kitchen: 'Sometimes I wish you weren't the county's champion hog caller.'

If a tree fell into the marsh and there was nobody around to hear it and it landed on a mute swan, would it make a sound?

'Well Cookie. . . it looks like some horse droppings, cattle droppings, some tumbleweeds, barbed wire and parts from an old wagon. . . What the heck do you call it??'

"Will these hooves ever dry?"

Barn

You are never further than 2.6 yards away from a cow.

"Where did you get this from?"

'Well, if I got the wrong number how come you answered the phone?'

I'm a leg man myself.

"They say the mortality rates could be as high as 3%..Better buy more toilet rolls!"

Shepherd

"....Don't squat on your spurs in the shower."