Catholic Insiders Pillows

''Fasting' doesn't mean eating fast food!'

"National security adviser"

"These few weeks off school have convinced me that I'm definitely a stay-at-home kid."

"Hold everything! I just thought up a terrific loophole!"

"Dad, why does a huge beast like that let such a small bully control it?"

Man on left - 'What do you call a public servant who spends half their time doing private work?' Man on right - 'An MP?'

Fiscal cliff

'The Parkinson would be good PR, but should I wear the hair shirt or the sackcloth and ashes?'

'I know the Oval Office is in the West Wing. I wonder what mischief goes on in the East Wing?'

"Will you two stop giggling every time I say 'assets'?"

'I stopped paying attention to polls since a poll showed voters prefer someone who ignores the polls.'

Man about executive: 'Success went to his head. There was plenty of room there.'

'True rupture is rare. Ladies' breasts are most commonly bursting simply with admiration for me and my skills.'

'Frankly, I don't know if I feel like having a cup of coffee or trying to misappropriate some funds.'

Merchant Bankers - Patience is a virtue, anyone displaying it will be dismissed

The institute.

The Pi Advantage

". . . 5. . . 4. . . 3. . . 2 . . . 1. . . Ok that's enough time infront of the painting. You may go in and see him now."

Early American Executive Washroom

"A new preacher. He still has that new car smell."

GOP surprise.

'Wait, you mean there's only one Pope at a time? In the whole world!?'

"Let's just issue last year's annual report and see if anyone notices."

'We finally found the source of all those wikileaks!'

GOP tent door

"We can't even admit we work here."

Conclave and God.

The Darling Buds of Theresa May.

"I'm woried that our company motto makes us look shifty."

Junior Ministers in the Cuts Department would often moonlight, looking for unturned stones.

"And now... the latest dope from Washington..."

'You were in the mafia? Sorry, admission denied - on orders of the Pope.'

'While the campus master plan does not provide for one, it does not rule out the possibility of a COSTCO.'

"The main problem facing us to to make hypocrisy not sound like hypocrisy."