Catering Student Pillows

Restaurant School: Fresh-Ground Pepper 101

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'I sent out for everything.'

Come dine with me!

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"I said I wanted to visit the Brandenburg Gate."

"You're the lid to my pot."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

6 Brothers Falafel

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

Cookbooks

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

Picking pastries.

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

"Rump roast?"

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

"How fresh is the calamari?"

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

"This is our soft opening."

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

'I always cry at weddings!'

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

Canape?

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"I specialise in themed dinners 'Titanic', 'Armageddon' , 'Towering Inferno'..."

"Yo - I'm way overdone in here!"