Catering Student Pillows

Restaurant School: Fresh-Ground Pepper 101

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'I sent out for everything.'

Come dine with me!

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"I said I wanted to visit the Brandenburg Gate."

6 Brothers Falafel

"You're the lid to my pot."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

Cookbooks

Picking pastries.

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

"Rump roast?"

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"This is our soft opening."

'I always cry at weddings!'

"How fresh is the calamari?"

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

Canape?

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

Party time.

"Yo - I'm way overdone in here!"