Catching Up Prints

"Want to bitch for one more lap?"

'Remember, we don't have much time so don't ask them how they're doing.'

The Exhaustive Bro Catch Up

Man, Lemont … how long's it been? Twenty years? Just about. You still working at Pigville Pork Burgers? Nah … I got a job as the Candorville Chronicles White House correspondent. Then I went on to found Candorville.com, the internet's seventh largest source for news and opinion. Oh. That's cool. That's cool. How do you not know this? We're Facebook friends. I post links to my articles every day. We were roommates all through college, and you don't even read my updates? Facebook's for reading yo

"... doing pretty good, taking things for granted, and you?"

'You haven't changed a bit Perkins.'

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

No caption. (Man wearing a cast is in traction. He imagines sheep lining up to jump fence. Sheep also wear casts.)

'Love me little, love me long.'

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

'Race you to the nearest lap?'

"...is somebody playing Wonderwall?"

Don't tell me fibs! I know ou wrote to the Corinthians, and ya wrote to the Romans, bnot to mention to Galatians, but do you write to your mother?

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

NASA Hits Shuffle

Weekend paper with an index to the supplements it contains.

"Nope - ya know what they say - an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure..."

"And, in suburban news, construction of the new, attached four-season solarium at 6870 Evercrest Drive continued amid the silent, seething envy of the neighbors."

"Touché, Roy. A snappy riposte will be winging its way to you as soon as possible."

I need a not to expensive gift that doesn't hurt when thrown to my head.

Yeah, last words are like snappy comeback --- You always think of the best ones after it's too late!

"Dr. Cosgrove will be here in a minute. He's been cramming for this operation."

Pizza Party

"I'm glad I found the time to join this meeting, otherwise we wouldn't see each other in years!"

Fake it with Flowers.

'10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... zzzzzz'

"We will rebuild!"

Xmas wrapping paper blower.

'Expensive wine, long-stem roses, imported candies...wasn't our argument about MY spending habits?'

Now that you've seen the Fad Herald is a regular dude and not a hipster, will you stop following everything he says? You're not answering. Why bother answering you, heathen? Heathen? He's the Fad Herald. He judges us, not the other way around. Like Sarah Palin? When facts fail you, embrace faith. It never goes out of style.

Would you mind stepping into my office, Potter.

Class Reunion.

"Good morning 'Best Friends Forever' breakfast club!"

The End of the World is Nigh.

'There's lots of fine,honest,upstanding young men out there and she takes up with a banker!'