Catching A Cheating Partner Prints

'There's a simple explanation, dear. Someone stole my identity.'

Making healthy eating bearable.

"Better get two dozen. She won't be able to hit you as hard with both arms full."

"Don't even start, Claire. You knew I was a snake when you took me in."

Will sneak through the woods and throw your ball back into the fairway.

'Right, how can I help you?'

I was in a menage a trois...until she ran off with our marriage guide counsellor!

"Your husband is fooling around."

"Hold it right there buster! Is that a wedding ring I can see?"

"Robert prays for the answers."

'Get your hands off my husband.'

Retirement became the obvious decision.

"You may not like what I've dug out, but you did ask me to snoop into your husband!"

Mort, you haven't dealt with your anger over Sadie's infidelity. Tell her how you feel. Okay. Amanda Kern. Comics counseling. You're a harlot and a tramp. Whatever. Mort, get some heart into it. Use your bullhorn. Harlot!!! Jerk!!! Good, feel the bitter recrimination.

'I do still love you, Morton, but there's a subtext.'

'How did the public know about our positive drug tests?'

"My wife can't make it tonight, she's on a date."

"When he stopped to smell the flowers, his wife found out whose flowers they were!"

"You always show up at the WORST possible time!"

'The first wives club'

"Janet, we have to stop meeting like this. It has become a source of increasing friction in my marriage to Elizabeth."

Cheating at golf.

This department will not countenance the back stab.

"So you think I should just ignore it?"

'No, Keith. It isn't just the same as me bringing Teddy to bed!'

"Careful, Rocky. You're about to give away the secret behind your knockout punches."

There's someone else, isn't there?

'You, you, you. Why is it always about you?'

Police officer to conman: 'You're only allowed to keep striped bass.'

"...and then there's the small matter of that ball you planted on the fourth green."

Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Ohmygosh! What? What? Is a Kardashian here? Major scandal. Epic proportions. Infidelity of the highest order. Sadie Cohen has been cheating on Uncle Mort. Can you believe it? Sadie! The very image of perfection revealed as a fraud! She's not the image of perfection. Stick with me. This is for narrative purposes. Oh, fine. No way! But she's so perfect!

"Really?

'It's our wedding anniversary today, Pete, I bet my husband forgets all about it, again.'

Spiro & Pusho plays table tennis

"The wife is out 3 evenings a week with her driving instructor. I wouldn't mind but she passed her test in 1983!"