Cat Owners Unite Pillows

'Shoot, this is nothing, you should have seen how good we had it back in ancient Egypt.'

Thanks to her cat-cam, Cheryl was able to keep her furniture from being shredded while she was at work.

'Oh, crap.'

"Cat World Domination Day June 24th"

Unemotional Support Animal

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

Couple sitting in living room reading books while dog reads a book with a cat shaped cover.

How Amazon was invented

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

"You're completely screwed up."

"No, being declawed is the opposite of being a cyborg!"

Feline Evolution.

"So who is this First pet?"

'If you must know, yes, I do sometimes fake purring.'

"I wish I could lay there all day watching funny cat videos..."

Beware of the Cat.

I'm sure it's fake.

"He may be neutered and declawed, but he's still dangerous."

"Only one of my lives was a bowl of cherries."

"It's okay. I love hopping in bags!"

"Not while they're making artisanal bread."

'I don't even care about the score, catty. I just enjoy the long walk.'

"Do you promise to love, laugh and send cute pics of the cats even if you're just in the next room?"

"I have to give you credit. You're a pit bull and you're nice on and offline."

"And here are today's categories...."

"Next year we put the cats outside before we hibernate."

"I'm thinking tonight we should try the new chicken and tuna."

"I think my parents are pretty old. They remember a time before 'clumping' cat litter."

"I'm going to level with you. I find you to be disturbingly insane."

'It's your turn to put the cat out.'

The Amazing Adventures of Wondercat.

Cat and Dog both eating from wrong bowls.

"Your profile said you were a dog."

'Honestly, Harry. It's getting so I can't tell your scratching from the cat's.'

Cat Lover's Leap.