Cat Advocate Pillows

How do you keep cats out of your garden? I catch the little sneaks

'Granted, you're his best friend, but he and I are soul mates.'

'Him? He saves drowning cats!'

Handicapped Accessible Litter Box.

"Are any of the candidates anti-cat?"

"We've been neutered, declawed and switched to a vegan diet. What more could she possibly do to us?"

Cat steals food from owner who is distracted by feeding the dog.

"He may be neutered and declawed, but he's still dangerous."

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Brian was very proud of his dog.

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"With less ice these days this provides better camouflage."

"I just assumed that the whale we adopted would stay in the ocean."

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

The Golfing Accident

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

Armstrong, the only doctor covered in the new health plan you got me is a veterinarian! Beats no coverage. Yeah, if you're a parakeet. You're so cheap. You don't value me at all. You ingrate. I didn't have to give you health benefits. Lots of employers don't cover their animals. You mean workers. Stop your barking.

Butterfly herders of the wild west.

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

I'm not saying I'm not a hound dog. I'm saying I'm not nothing but a hound dog.

dog vs UFO...

"It's good to know she was butchered for a noble cause."

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."