Cat Enthusiast With A Dark Sense Of Humor Pillows

101 uses of a dead cat: pointer.

101 uses of a dead cat: knife

Biofelineism

"Projectile hairballing."

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

Cat laughs at 'Ameowsing Cat Jokes.'

"It's Friday the 13th. I feel lucky!"

Cat Lover's Leap.

Man asks haughty looking cat: "And how, exactly, do you qualify as a spokesman for the feline community?"

'I want to talk about your efforts to increase sales, Robert.'

"Each of my previous books had nine editions."

"Would you say the pain is more like a me-ow or a me-ouch?"

"Relax, it's cat fishing lure. I'm hoping to catch a dogfish."

Cat Desk Organizers: In, Out, Eat, Sleep.

'You know, if you cleaned the litter box more often, you wouldn't have to wear the hazmat suit.'

'I wouldn't have brought the cat if I'd know he had to be naked too.'

'God! This tastes like cats...'

"You'd think having nine lives, we'd be better at retirement planning."

Man and his dog both reading Mockingbird books.

101 uses of a dead cat: chopping board.

"Are you going to finish that? I'm auditioning for a 'That Cat Is Too Damn Fat' video."

'Can you believe people actually believe this is a litter box?'

"Give me a minute—I'm working on my core."

"So what do you think we should be saying about zero hours contracts?"

Inky marks his territory the new and improved way.

Cat Nightmares

"I don't care what they say...they don't really want you to think outside the box."

'All right already - I'll change your litter box.'

Cards For Cats.

"This place is still warm from the dryer and centrally located near several mouse holes."

101 uses of a dead cat: umbrella.

'So to conclude curiosity did indeed kill the cat . . . no wait, it was a dog.'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: ...Because it's quiet and doesn't eat much.

"Well, if you find it more comfortable, just call it 'cat bath'."