Cat Burglar Humor Enthusiast Pillows

'Would you PLEASE hurry up!'

"Projectile hairballing."

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

Cat laughs at 'Ameowsing Cat Jokes.'

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

'Oh no! That's not litter! It's quicksand!!'

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

Man asks haughty looking cat: "And how, exactly, do you qualify as a spokesman for the feline community?"

"Each of my previous books had nine editions."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Balloon

The Curiosity Mars rover is seen killing a cat: 'Mission accomplished.'

'The butler did it.'

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

'According to the latest data, our social media post rankings are staying fairly consistent with consumers, hovering just below cat shaming memes.'

"Keep your guard up. We're entering big-cat country."

Noir kitty.

101 uses of a dead cat: peg leg

'You know, if you cleaned the litter box more often, you wouldn't have to wear the hazmat suit.'

Cat Desk Organizers: In, Out, Eat, Sleep.

The few moments delay was the downfall of 'The Cat'.

"You resume states, 'My only good quality is I purr'. Could you go into that a little more?"

101 uses of a dead cat: chopping board.

101 uses of a dead cat: bagpipe

I tried thinking outside the box once. That was a big mistake!

The Cat That Swallowed the... no, it was the other way round.

Inky marks his territory the new and improved way.

'Overslept? You're a cat. How could you possibly oversleep?'

Cat Nightmares

"Oops, sorry new guy, I guess I forgot to mention he's not a morning person..."

'Vegetarian, vegetarian, vegetarian, vegetarian.'

"The mainstream media has entered into a global conspiracy to make us less popular than dogs."