Cat Burglar Humor Enthusiast Pillows

'Would you PLEASE hurry up!'

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

"Projectile hairballing."

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

Cat laughs at 'Ameowsing Cat Jokes.'

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

'Oh no! That's not litter! It's quicksand!!'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

'I hate surprises!'

The Curiosity Mars rover is seen killing a cat: 'Mission accomplished.'

Man asks haughty looking cat: "And how, exactly, do you qualify as a spokesman for the feline community?"

"Each of my previous books had nine editions."

'The butler did it.'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Balloon

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

'According to the latest data, our social media post rankings are staying fairly consistent with consumers, hovering just below cat shaming memes.'

"Keep your guard up. We're entering big-cat country."

Noir kitty.

101 uses of a dead cat: peg leg

Cat Desk Organizers: In, Out, Eat, Sleep.

'You know, if you cleaned the litter box more often, you wouldn't have to wear the hazmat suit.'

We all have our jobs to do here --- You guard against burglars and I'm the food critic.

101 uses of a dead cat: bagpipe

The few moments delay was the downfall of 'The Cat'.

101 uses of a dead cat: chopping board.

"You resume states, 'My only good quality is I purr'. Could you go into that a little more?"

I tried thinking outside the box once. That was a big mistake!

The Cat That Swallowed the... no, it was the other way round.

'I'm telling you, he jumped!'

Inky marks his territory the new and improved way.

'Vegetarian, vegetarian, vegetarian, vegetarian.'

Cat Nightmares

'Overslept? You're a cat. How could you possibly oversleep?'

"The mainstream media has entered into a global conspiracy to make us less popular than dogs."