Casual Gatherings Gifts

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

"My boss said I have narcolepsy. She could have waited to tell me after I woke up."

"This place has the best happy hour."

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

The prying mantis,

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

The devil you know and his plus one

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"Any of you guys feel like hot dogs?"

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

"Fresh pepper?"

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

Miniature Cattle Fanciers

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'

I've been looking forward to this the whole year: It can get lonely out there...

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

Playing cards.

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

'I don't think we're devoted to the Lord. I think we're devoted to dessert.'

Midwest Winter Items.

"You're doing fine - don't watch your feet."

"Where do you see yourself in five pints time?"

"Once you get over the three hundred and sixty eight texts it took to plan this, it really is nice to get together."

If you're looking for a good time, you'll find it; if you can't find it, it will find you....

"I rushed here from surgery. I didn't have time to get into costume."

"God help us, it's that guy."

Shall I be mother?

'I'm sorry, he likes to let off wind after dinner.'

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."