Casual Complaining Pillows

"I finally have an ailment that isn't so bad that I'm worried, but bad enough for me to complain about constantly"

Flyfishing for dummies.

"Geez, from way up here it almost looks like there’s hope for humanity."

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

'Anorak anoraks'.

'If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room.'

"Whine and cheezed party."

Man from refuse department says: 'We'll send you a new wheelie bin, Mrs Trubshaw, there's really no need to 'orchestrate a mass Twitter campaign'.'

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

"What a day. I almost lost my smug look of detached superiority."

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

'Typical, I hadn't finished complaining about the rain...'

"I just realized that unless I'm riding for some cause, I must look like an idiot."

"Frankly, I can't really understand why my husband would be referred to as a "Domestic Cat": he does nothing around the house..."

'This decaf's lousy.'

"Is it always so cloudy?"

"In what way do you feel you have been unfairly treated?"

'I don't like to complain, Evelyn, but aren't these family reunions getting out of hand?'

Bob's whine cellar.

"I'm not gonna take my grievances to the street anymore, but I sure will take them to Facebook!"

"To be perfectly honest, Tarquin, I get fed up listening to your stories about 'the good old days'."

Ryanair refunds

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'

'What the hell good are new federal regulations if they don't have teeth?'

"True, the fly is not in my soup. But it took one taste of my soup and dropped dead."

'There's supposed to be 56 million bubbles in a bottle of Champagne -- I only counted 54, 325,775.'

Medical Bracelet

This week we've explored what might happen if there were a military draft. Hear what I say: How many soldiers died today? Now back to our regular programming. My iPad's shiny. My oil stocks are soaring.

"Frankly, I could move a lot faster, but the truth is that I lack motivation..."

'I simply don't know what I'd do with mother, if it wasn't for the squatters!'

'Aren't you done yet? This is taking forever! I should have went somewhere else!...'

"One more remark like that, lady, and you'll never get to see this show."

"I heard you are charging a monthly fee for using your debit card, and I'm here to complain!"