Casual Botanist Gifts

"I might let the window box lay fallow, this season."

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

Please buzz off. That's my flower!

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

Beginning Yarder.

Jeff realised it was probably time to discontinue his subscription to 'Office Plant of the Month'.

"I don't know the Latin, but the common name is climbing onion."

"My child when you look at a flower,you see the face of god!"

"I can tell it's new because it's alive."

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

'Don't you think it's time you tackled the wandering dew?'

"Mother! How? Wait — where’s Dad?!"

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

Ecological Therapy

'Turn right at the Robinia pseudoacacia, pass the garden with the salvia officinalis, cross the road when you see the stranvaesia davidinia and the pub is on the left!'

'I don't think we can justify employing a gardener.'

Quick, Gardener's World is on!

"We're out of bags."

'Be sure to ask George about his tomatoes.'

"I can’t come to bed yet. I have bulbs to plant."

"Harry, you're beginning to go to seed!"

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'

'Do you have garden pests?'

"You, my tenacious weed, are trespassing!"

'I'm sorry my little Towser misbehaved himself.'

"Oh, I do a little grass on occasion, but I avoid the heavy cruciferous greens."

'I'm letting it lie fallow this year.'

"I used to be a tulip in a previous life" - Reincarnation

'Here, you can have my fly trap.I already have one.'

"Charles! Enough with the mulch!"

'Honey, don't forget to water the plants!'

"Now, that's my kind of gardener: somebody who grows dandelions! I love dandelions..."

"911?... Guinness Book of World Records?... 911?

Man watching a flower slowly wilt, and just as its about to die he waters it