Cast Artist Pillows

Mike's nagging injury was almost too much to bear.

'Very funny!'

Broken Leg

Shepherd and eurydice

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Occu-Pie Mars

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

"Bond James, Bond."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

They hated me.

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Showbiz Awards

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

Benedict Cumberbatch

They're Not Just That Into It

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

A fairy with wand and crown in pink tutu

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

'They all want to play the star.'

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."