Casino Lovers Pillows

'C'mon in Rudolph, these ain't no reindeer games.'

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

Cut out and keep your own Frank Sinatra.

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

Dog in casino.

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

Slug roulette

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

'In the 20 minutes it took for the pit boss to come back with a comp for the $10 buffet, I lost another $500.'

'It's a penny slot--give me a hundred.'

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

'OK Mr and Mrs Johnson let's spin the wheel and find you a child!'

'Eh, love. The one armed bandit at the end of the bar isn't working.'

"Why are we eating all this fattening stuff? Pier pressure."

'My wife encourages this. She thinks I'm playing the Russian version.'

'I need to find a loose machine like that.'

Destination casinos...

"But, if I don't peel off the entire label, the label wins."

'Okay, people... The name of the game is Musical Cubicles! The winner gets to be the new district manager! Ready... set... GO!!'

Tonto Casino.

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

'Las Vegas: What happens here, is a lot less than what was happening here two years ago.'

"They said whatever you left in Las Vegas, stays in Las Vegas."

Visit Las Vegas! The city that never sleeps' ot even takes a nap!: 'Because of competition, they had to raise the ante!'

Gambling on office building construction

'Our ceiling is under repair--sorry.'

"I spy something blue."

'This is the third one today. Why can't the gynecologists have their convention someplace other than Vegas?'

"I think I need a professional money manager. I invest sixty five percent of my money gambling in casinos and thirty five percent I keep under the mattress."

'The only thing better than being comped an '83 Amarone, is having a girlfriend who isn't a wine drinker.'

Jonathan Bugsy Seagull

You Are Now Entering Las Vegas. Lock Your Car And Open Your Wallet

"That's okay, I lost my wife years ago. Worst poker hand I ever played."