Cashmere Lover Pillows

You can't give mom an electric screwdriver for Christmas. How about some software? Good idea! I know the kinds she likes. What's it called? Cashmere. Very soft.

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"I love you, you big fool."

"5 chocolate brownies, 3 banana muffins, 4 caramel cookies and one cappuccino - skinny."

Bubble gum leaves

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

Cleaner dusting under man's toupee.

Why giraffes hate winter

"Perhaps a cozy scarf to go with the hat?"

'At milking time, I just love the soft hands of the new young farm hand: A nice change from old farmer John's...'

"Sometimes Ben does very dumb things. I love that in him."

"I'll kill you if you crack your knuckles again."

Pottery Slam

'Oh Gloria, I love you with all my heart, part of my liver and most of my lower intestine.'

'SAME SOCKS BAR.'

"I'm gona level with you, Judith, I've spent some time in the pen."

Hanley Fabric Co., Polly-Esther

'You'll grow into it!'

Susie's single status had spread to her socks.

Ben Foden Brings Flair and Adventure to the Party

"We have every visible wavelength in stock. What color would you like to filter out?"

Cavewoman knitting with wool from mammoth

'Cannibalism has always repulsed me - until i tasted Aunty Judy's knees'

"Your being boring, stuffy and predictable is part of your charm."

'Congratulations, its a six pound biker.'

Cultivating Toughness in Footballs.

Miss Lonelyhearts Advice to the Lovelorn

'I like doing shampoos, it gets your hands clean.'

"You must be a computer geek, because I've never had anyone ask me to accept their 'Terms of Use' before a date."

"Your father helped me, too."

Old age is crueller than you think kid!"

'You've got a hole in your sock..'

"Could I have a skinny, half fat caramel infued Americano with a double shot and froth. . . but without the coffee!"

'That's enough cream. Please stop.'

'I'm gonna go slip into something less comfortable.'