Cartoon Readers T-Shirts

'Actually we're members of a mountain climbing club named for Sir Edmund Hillary.'

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

British savings accounts

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

'Remember only you can prevent forest fires.'

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

Seagiraffes

Torturing the English Language

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

'I told you it would be useful.'

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Cariactures

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

'Cannonball!'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

Sounds that various toys make when they are vacuumed up.

Ancient Landmarks of New York City

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

Giraffe Umbrella

Lactose Intolerant

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

A caveman paints from life

'Go on, Andy, it's high time anteaters learned size isn't everything!'

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

Reagacentennial

"So, you say I'll be doubling the numbers of animals I kill?"

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."