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"I've been having hallucinations again, Doctor."

"Wait a minute. Have you guys thought about how this thing is supposed to fit in there?"

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

Lactose Intolerant

A tortoise toboggans down a hill in its shell

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Reagacentennial

A caveman paints from life

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

'You have a strawberry on your nose, I'll give you some cream to put on it!'

A cow poos down a hole.'UH-OH!'

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

'It's an extinction notice.'

Early Colour TV

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

Dolphin friendly tuna

'Boy, if you'd just stop roaming around, it would be easier to find you...'

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"Janet, cancel my Guido's reservation. I'll be having lunch in the office."

Here's the Weird Anti-Terrorist Trash Talk That Stayed on Donald Trump's Cutting Room Floor After the Manchester Attack