Cartoon Engager Gifts

Toilet paper shortage

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

An informed voter is a good voter

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

Unanimous voting.

'I'd like your permission to enter into pre-nuptial negotiations...'

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

Tonight: Town Hall Meeting. With free speech, sometimes I think that you get what you pay for!

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

"And lastly, for my infinite perseverance, self-control and fortitude, I'd like to thank the Internet trolls."

'Are we there yet, I love surprises.'

'Oh my! He finally proposed!'

"I already have the perfect hashtag!"

'Would you merge your mutual fund with mine?'

'We spend a lot, borrow a lot, tax a lot. It keeps things from getting boring.'

It is my mother's, she uses it as an anchor for our yacht.

Now I'll open up the floor to questions and batsh*t crazy rants.

"If I vote my conscience, it's Sanders. If I vote my pocketbook, it's Trump. If I vote my emotions, it's Hillary. If I vote my anger, it's Cruz..."

'You're proposing to me with, cubic zirconias?... But, you're a diamond dealer!'

The Great Rainbow of China

Caricature of Noam Chomsky

"I'd rather you'd said it with diamonds."

Impotent Democracy

'How do you propose to support my daughter on the earnings of a tooth fairy?'

"This next song is about a trip to Vermont. It's called 'This is the whitest state I've ever seen—wow!'"

"If you'll have me, I'd like to be your blind spot."

Voter impatience.

'Perhaps we should leave details of the divorce settlement until after we are married.'

'We're running late and I have much to cover. Can you hold your eight-part question for later?'

'I stopped paying attention to polls since a poll showed voters prefer someone who ignores the polls.'

Sick America

NO CRT

"Surely the realize that ethics laws just put us on the slippery slope of legislating morality."

Build Back Better? When?

"In politics a lot more is said than is done. So I promise to 'say less' when I 'do less'."