Cart Comedy Enthusiast Gifts

"I started out with only two items, but did a lot of impulse buying while in line."

You Are Here

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

"Projectile hairballing."

"Blog always makes it all about Blog."

Dear Diary, 36 weeks on this island and I'm starting to feel that I'll never get rescued."

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

Cat Lover's Leap.

'Beware of SUV.'

"This one seems perfect, but do you have it in red?"

"The kids have stopped saying 'are we there yet?'"

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

'Yeah, truck makers are going vertical instead of horizontal with the extended cabs now. It's the latest trend...'

Walk, Don't Walk, Laugh.

"Dayum. She bootylicious."

'I wish I could do Search and Rescue too: When you're a Police Dog, the people you find don't actually want to be found...'

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

Star-Spangled Danner Episode 4

Looking at You Are Here Map "How do they know?"

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

No U-turns

"I can't work on this one. It's too ticklish."

"By the way, I've ordered a cat."

'They separated us.'

"I'm starting to miss his begging."

Australian Sat Nav - 'Straight on mate'.

'Professor Luftkopf is really something -- he got a $300,000 Federal grant to figure out how to program his VCR.'

"...Oh no, not you. You couldn't be satisfied with one saucepan..."

"Eat your greens. . . and your pinks and yellows and blues."

'Why can't you ride under the dash like other airbags?'

The Surgeon Finds the Source of the Problem

Sellers and Inspectors in Cuba

Driver with a rear view mirror attached to his forehead.

Traffic sign: Right lane ends - Merge into oncoming traffic.