Carpet Retailer Mugs

Biggo Carpet Co.: 'Out cutting a rug'

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'

'Pink isn't EITHER the new black!'

'Ever thought of having the place re-carpeted?'

"Not more sleeve alterations?!"

"Okay, lady, your new carpet is installed...you can let your dog back in now."

'Do you have it in black?'

Sketches by Boz - Monmouth Street

A tailor measuring a large man

"There's nothing like new carpeting to freshen up a place, I say."

"Wall to wall carpet. Shouldn't that be wall to wall to wall to wall carpet?"

Hee hee hee, watch this - I just shuffled my feet on the carpet.

"Relax, I'm coming for the suit."

"And remember the rule: when the carpet is old, that's when we hold, when the carpet is new, that's when we spew!"

"Why don't we skip the falafel bar, Sinbad."

Men see an old lady in a round hat from the back and think she is a pretty young lady.

"Would you like your real size or one that artificially inflates your ego?"

"You see, sir? It fits you like a glove!"

'No - I'll give the underlay a miss.'

That adds life! Before we installed the carpet, I looked down and saw nothing except a blank stair!

'I am sorry about this vicar, but my wife has just had new carpets fitted.'

A tight skirt makes a woman look slim!

'I won't bother you, Mr. Gridley... I just wanted to see how it would feel to walk barefoot on your plush carpeting...'

'It's goose down!'

'I said shag carpeting.'

''Get a life' was last year! This year it's 'get a while bunch of lives!''

Does this skirt make it look like sexy fat?

'No, it's not a spit polish. I just really hate your shoes.'

The Emporer's Clothes Boutique

"I like it – I'm just not sure it's what I want to rot on."

"Counting sheep is the quickest way to fall asleep...and with this sheep number mattress, you can say 'BAA-BAA' to sheepless nights forever."

"Do you do these in sheep?"

Which one? The Times? The Post? Maybe The Tribune? Oh, Phil - Picking out a carpet is so difficult.

"We had an expert restore all the original shag carpeting."