Caribbean Dreamer Pillows

"I'm prescribing two weeks in the carribean. You've got mold."

'Where do you want the limbo bar set? Low, lower, extra low or U.S.-household-savings-rate?'

The Abominable Snow Shark.

"The only problem with working for a pirate is that we tend to only sail in the Caribbeans: It gets boring after a while..."

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"Hello coastguard, it's my husband, he's beached"

I rather like bucket and spade holidays.

"Hawaiian hitchhiker."

Lounging by the pool

'Screen saver. . . or did his computer freeze again?'

Castro's successful invasion of miami beach.

'...I said we've been marooned.'

Mermaid Art

'I wish I was creative'

"Me, too. A few days on the cape and I'm feeling almost human again."

Segregated Beach

Excess Baggage: You send emails from exotic places just to make your friends jealous.

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

The sad fate of Isaac Newton's Tahitian counterpart.

'These virtual-reality goggles are great! Right now, I'm sun-bathing in Tahiti...'

'It's a great job, but the commuting is murder!'

"How long have you felt like a three-masted schooner?"

Summer's coming! Occupy Cornwall!

The Piano Dreams Of Home

"I downloaded a new app that puts me on a tropical island no matter where I'm at."

"I'd like one of your bucket and spade holidays."

'I have nothing to declare... Okay, I liked Maui better.'

Customized Personal Retreats.

"My new book will be an epic novel of the sea."

'I wish I'd never seen Lost, now.'

'Why are you still sitting here, dear? This is a tropical getaway. It means, get away!'

Get a rockpool!

'If those coconuts ever ripen, I'm not eating them!'

Man tried to unload a ship in a bottle.

'Hey! Down in front!'