Careful Custodian Of Capsules T-Shirts

Pharmacist to lady: 'I'm juggling your prescriptions as we speak.'

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

Acme. Breakable prop transporter.

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

Child Being Dirty in the Bath.

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

"You might say I'm middle-of-the-road. I'd buy a fur coat but I wouldn't buy a Japanese fur coat."

Please examine your children's tv before they watch it as mistakes can not afterwards be rectified

"Cautious and considerate? Door on the left, one mask each. Selfish and ignorant? Door on the right, do as you please."

Health and safety nightmare.

'Is it contagious, doctor?'

"Having received your offer of friendship, and after due consideration and given the fact that I don't know you from a bar of soap, I must inform you that I will be declining your request."

All Eggs in One Basket world headquarters

Christmas package.

Height barrier accident.

'Hmmm, this is too good to be true: I can smell a rat...'

'As far as we know, no one who has eaten out genetically-modified food has turned into a creature or anything.'

'Mom says if you're going to buy anything online,I'm supposed to make sure it's a secure site.'

"I see there's a photo of you riding a goat in the nude drinking from a beer can attached to your hat. For future reference, employers now check social media."

'Better slow it down a bit.'

Drink Driving

Ted never left anything to chance. His computer passwords were all 99 random characters long. . .

Pope Francis

'What did I tell you about investing in an unauthorised firm ?'

Humpty Dumpty! Put on this helmet.

Man with a new purchase about to fall down a hole.

'One thing...I don't do windows.'

'What did I tell you kids about swimming in the cement hole?'

'I don't think we should rush into anything. Let's exchange photos first.'

It seemed to be a good plan....Work until retirement and then nothing but sitting around..."

No, I haven't taken an aspirin yet... I'm still reading the bottle!

Overprotection

Impatient passenger asking careful driver to go faster

"They just put that to make you handle it with care."

Boy wearing hat saying: 'Caution - may contain nits.'