Career Storytellers Pillows

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

Noah's life jacket demonstration

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

"So, you want to work at our firm, Eh?"

"The boss says he can remember the day I first started...but nothing after that."

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

'This merger will cut jobs 40%, reduce salaries 30% and increase the work hours 25%. Your job is to make this look like the best thing that ever happened to our employees.'

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

"He'll never win this negotiation. He's saddled with numbers...but we have anecdotes."

'It was a dark and stormy night. Also, there was a Catch-22.'

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

Of course, we have to begin with certain assumptions. Let's assume I'm right and you're wrong.

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

"A homeless person ate my homework."

Wall of Office Memories

"Now the board will hear from Todd from Accounting with his free verse composition 'My Mistress, Brash and Beguiling – the Third Quarter Numbers.'"

"It's a coming-of-middle-age story."

"Start with a Spanish doubloon. Those are always good."

Mother changing the words to 'this little piggy' to be more healthy

"Whoops - I Accidentally Pressed 'Elevator Pitch.'"

'My office is always open to you Charles, at least until maintenance repairs the door lock.'

'And along with your promotion you get a key to the executive bedroom.'

"Marlowe filled the crooked gumshoe full of lead. He watched the smoke from his .38 coil in the air as he… mommy’s behind me, isn’t she?"

'Have you ever thought about doing a children's book?'

"This X-Ray proves conclusively that you don't have a book in you."

'Who else have I written for? Ridge Park Avenue, 7th Street, Elm Road, Thornwood Drive...'

"This is the deluxe edition Annual Report Director's Cut with restored graphs and alternative endings."

'I hired a motivational speaker once, but unfortunately all of my employees left to get better jobs.'

When staffing agencies screw up.