Career Reflector Pillows

"I was a used-car salesman, but I was terrible at it."

"I was a cog in the machine for thirty years, and then it went solid-state!"

37 years in the same position.

'I can't believe I didn't get that promotion. So many people have passed me by I feel like a road sign on the highway to success.'

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

"My career's in shreds, but on the bright side, so are my files."

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

Maybe it's now time to review our customer care strategy!"

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

"It's been hell since you went into animation."

Not much money, glory, or praise

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

'You call it diversified work experience.. I call it can't hold a job.'

Ace headhunters.

Planned service changes

"Very impressive resume, however you didn't explain why you were tagged and released from your last job."

"While you're at it Houdini, try and find the last ten years of my life in there."

"This is one of those great jobs you'd be willing to do for free. Will you do it for free?"

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

'I feel like I'm in a rut, too!'

'Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'

'Mom, Dad. I've made up my mind. I'm going to skip college, hire an agent, and pin all my hopes on a professional bass fishing careers.'

'Worker or Soldier: Is that all you can suggest? Not much of a choice is there!...'

'From now on, Bob, you'll have to fetch your own newspaper and slippers. I'm ready for a career change.'

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"Baldo, I don't care what you are...as long as you're good at it."

'Please don't be hurt, Dad, but I've decided to go into gathering instead of hunting.'

Guys looks in the mirror and sees himself as a prisoner.

"She said that she's against combing marriage with a career....so I quit my job."

'I've been thinking about quitting, but it's the only thing that gets me out of the house.'

"How do you know if you're under the radar or washed up?"

Multi-Species Employment Agency. Did you hire the octopus for that job opening? Yeah, but I did interview other applicants. The frog was a strong candidate ... I'm flexible on location -- I'm an amphibian! The whale seemed to be hiding something. The gap in my resume? Uh ... I was beached for a while. And the pig wasn't smart. I see "USDA Approved" on your resume --- I don't think you understand what that means. The octopus got the job because he was a great multitasker!