Career Professional Pillows

'The trouble with opportunity is that it comes disguised as hard work.'

Nuns - "I hit the stained glass ceiling."

'40 years and I never missed a meeting. Oh, I attended a few, but never missed not going to another!'

'I see you hold degrees in both medicine and law - But tell me, Henderson; do use these powers for good or for evil?'

"May her soul rest in peace."

"I'll let you know when a better office becomes available."

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'Let's not go by the book.'

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

Killer Executive Suits.

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

37 years in the same position.

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

'He lives for his holidays.'

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

Gerry, there are more accurate ways of balancing the petty cash.