Career-driven Professionals Pillows

Run, Mike, Run!

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

'You really want that promotion, don't you, Sherman?'

Do you have any other skills?

"Has anyone mentioned that you're management now, …… You don't get overtime."

'And finally. . . where do you see yourself on the food chain 5 years from now?'

"Bob doesn't do well in job interviews, so he hired me. I'm a professional actor who specializes in these situations."

'Thanks for the promotion offer but I was hoping to sleep my way to the top..'

'I'm afraid you've failed the Turing test.'

"You will bargain away what little integrity you have left for what little job security you can gain."

"The itsy-bitsy spider went up the corporate ladder. And he didn't care how many lives he ruined along the way. I know, this isn't the book Simon & Schuster wants. But it's the damn truth."

"Remember when everyone told you this job would lead you nowhere? Well, you've arrived!"

"It's a GPS for busy executive mom. It tells you if your coming or going and when you'll get there!"

'It's a difficult position to fill. Someone who's smarter than me - and smart enough to pretend not to know it.'

"Yes, I'm sure you do deserve further career advancement. But if I promote you again you'll have my job!"

'Henry has found his niche with us.'

"Where do you see yourself five lives from now?"

'I'm looking for a job that satisfies my lust for power.'

'So, then.... you don't LIKE life in the fast lane?'

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"

"Jim, say hi to Tom, our severance consultant."

'My strength lies in my ability to deny my weaknesses.'

"Have a career, and then if you want to try acting, you'll have my blessing."

"You're great at hindsight, but we need someone who is more forward looking!"

'My father's recipe for success was honesty and hard-work - luckily, I ignored it.'

"Fellow M.B.A. graduates of the Class of '91—hey, what can I say?"

"Your CV is amazing. The boss would love you. So unfortunately you've been unsuccessful in your application."

"I may be wrong, but i suspect he is already grooming his successor."

"In your CV under 'experience' all you've written is 'YIPEE!'."

'Oh, and if you really want this job, there's one thing you shouldn't mention.'

"It's a pretty good resume, but I would have like to see more bells and whistles."

"You have excellent academic credentials and a wonderful work history but we try not to profile people."

"While we're protecting like hell against brain-drain, they come in and raid all our brown-noses!"