Career Management Gifts

'Look! It's superwoman...and all her assistants!'

"By the way, clean out your desk means your fired."

'If you can't get by on your present salary, Slocum, I suggest your wife get a second job.'

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

"I worked for the government, but somehow got lost in the paper shuffle."

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

"Management can't avoid responsibility for poor client care...I want to tender my resignation!"

'Sooner or later he'll take his fingers our of his ears. Then you can tell him he's been downsized.'

balanced life

Financial crisis and job layoffs

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

"Staff support"

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

Reach for the Star.

International Women's Day.

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

Pipe Dream.

37 years in the same position.

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"