Career-minded Professional Gifts

"I did my job, I grabbed my pile, and yet no voice at eventide has cried 'Well done!'"

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

37 years in the same position.

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

Supermom.

Doris K. Elston: Brain Surgeon, Professional Model, Artist, Lawyer....Plus Mother of Four.

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

"Dave, could you hold on a sec while I take care of some personal business?"

I've been working 20 hours a day. Well, that leaves you four hours to get to work.

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

"In addition to 'loyalty' are there any OTHER qualities you think you could bring to the job?"

"And finally, I’d like to thank all those people I stepped on and used to get here. I couldn’t have done it without your submissive insecurity and relentless resignation."

"Has anyone mentioned that you're management now, …… You don't get overtime."

"Sure, I'm a successful working bee, but sometimes, I wish I could have a family..."

'Yes, we do have an incentive scheme.We call it 'continued employment'.'

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

"....how many kids have we got now?"

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

'I'm looking for a workaholic who feels the great job he does is compensation enough.'

If you really need permanent staff for IMMEDIATE cover then we could pull out all the stops and get someone by next October.

'Remember, my door is always open Higgins, just be careful of the trap door.'

Working 9 to 5.

"We're all in the same boat, except it's more like a life raft than an actual boat."

"I'm sorry, Walter, but I need room to write."

"Why, if it isn't Henshaw caught in the Overtime Warp again."

'This is the last time we post job openings,'

"Can you hurry up with the cake? I have to travel the world, have a career and start a family"