Career Improvement Pillows

'I'm the boss who promised change...Griswell, you're fired! Segmott, you have Griswell's job.'

Career Analyst "Well I've looked at your file and yes, your job is rubbish"

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

Businesswoman Empowerment

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"Staff support"

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

In basket-case.

'I have this fear of the real world...'

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

Others will fight for you

A fight in the Boardroom.

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

Reach for the Star.

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

International Women's Day.

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"